Not as Planned
by FreelanceDreamer
Summary: A prequel to 'Occupational Hazards'. Myles and Danielle's relationship is turned on its head by some unexpected news that could change everything. But not everything works out as planned and the couple will need each other to work past something they never could have predicted.


**A.N. **Hello again! I am back with a longer story that I hope you will enjoy. This story – as you will soon discover – takes place before 'Occupational Hazards'. Just doing a bit of diving into their past, and there's more to come for whenever I get back to these two (although I cannot guarantee that they will be any happier). Thank you to everyone who read/reviewed/favourited/followed my previous story – y'all are awesome.

**P.S. **Because it's come up a few times, if you would like me to write a Jack/Sue story you can leave a prompt or suggestion in my inbox and I will see what I can do.

* * *

The sound of their combined panting was the only sound in the room as Myles collapsed on the bed next to his girlfriend.

"I take it back," she managed in between breaths. "That was better than our first time."

He smirked, "We've done better many times than the first."

"Well I thought it was one of our more defining nights together."

"I ended up in hospital."

She laughed, "I think we dented the headboard. Finally a use for that thick skull of yours."

"Mmm. When it's not otherwise serving as a base for my luscious hair."

She arched an eyebrow, "Of course. When's your next dye job? Maybe I'll come with you and get mine done."

In one smooth movement he rolled and braced himself on his arms above her, "Excuse me?" He asked. "I do _not _dye my hair. This is the curse of the Lelands."

She smirked, flicking some of the hair away from his face, "Curse?"

"Well," Myles started. "You cannot imagine how hard it is to live with hair like this!"

"Total chick magnet?"

He nodded, "Like you would not imagine. They just come out of the woodwork."

"Oh? Well then you don't need me. I guess I'll just be on my way," she said, rolling away from him.

Rolling over again Myles pulled her with him, trapping her against his chest. "Not so fast now… I _might _be willing to change my ways if you agree to dinner tomorrow night?"

She hesitated before smiling sadly, "I want to you know that I do. I just don't know where I'm going to be."

He answered as he drew senseless patterns into her back, "I know that. I'm not talking reservations and formal dress, just a glass of wine and a nice meal – here even. Come on Danielle, say yes."

She pretended to think about his offer as she listened to his heartbeat, the still slightly erratic beating offering a source of strange calm.

"Well?" He prodded.

She smirked, "I might be able to fit it into my schedule."

He tilted her chin up for a slow kiss before she slipped off the bed, pulling on her pants and sweatshirt from the previous night.

"You're leaving?" He asked.

"Nope. I am going to raid your kitchen though. Breakfast?"

He nodded, "I'm going to take a shower and I'll be right down alright?"

Leaving him to do what he had to Danielle made her way to the kitchen. All things considered Myles had a nice house – she'd even learned to get over the flag pole in the front lawn, something that she'd come to discover was not as funny to him as it was to her.

By the time Myles came down from his shower she'd managed to whip up some eggs, bacon, and toast for the both of them which he gratefully accepted.

"So," Myles said in between mouthfuls. "Back to work Monday?"

She nodded, "Yeah we had Friday and the weekend off so it's time to go back."

"Are you doing okay?"

She offered a weak smiled, "I think so. I'm hoping that getting back into a familiar routine will help. After all it's not like it was the first tough case and it definitely will not be the last."

"Even so it must be hard."

"It is, of course it is. But there's always another case, and they don't always end badly."

He reached across the table and gave her hand a quick squeeze before returning to his meal, the rest of which was eaten in relative silence.

"You know, you have to run this thing for your dishes to be cleaned," Danielle said offhandedly as she helped Myles load their dishes into the dish washer.

"You mean it's not automatic? My whole life is a lie," he said with mock astonishment and she punched his arm lightly.

Grabbing her coat off his coat rack she slipped her arms through and pulled her hair out from under the collar.

"I should get going, I have some paper work to sort before tomorrow and I'd rather not leave it until tonight."

Coming up behind her Myles wrapped his arms around her waist and settled his chin on her shoulder.

"I can admire that. Make sure to get some rest though, I don't want you to sleep through tomorrow night's dinner."

She giggled and turned in his arms, looking up at him. "Oh don't you worry I'll try and get my full eight hours tonight. You take it easy too Myles, I'll see you tomorrow."

He pulled her close for one last kiss before she stepped away and unlocked the front door.

"I love you," he called out to her just before she exited and it was enough to make her pause. Trying not to grin too widely she looked over her shoulder and met his gaze.

"I love you too, Myles."

* * *

No.

_No._

Using the free hand that wasn't tangled in her hair to cover her mouth she stared down at the pregnancy test on her counter. It was the fourth in the row but the shock was still as demanding as it had been the first time.

"Oh my God," her voice was a breathless whisper.

Digging through her purse she eventually found her phone and she opened up her contact list with trembling fingers. When she came to the contact she'd been looking for she groaned and threw the phone back into her purse. She couldn't call Myles. He'd called her the night before to say that he'd be out of town for a couple of days and that he would be unreachable baring an emergency.

Wrapping her arms around her knees Danielle tried to get her head around the news. It wasn't as if home pregnancy tests were foolproof but at that point she wasn't sure which result she wanted.

How would Myles react? She wasn't married to the man, he had no legal obligation to her or their maybe baby. Sure he'd told her that he loved her – and she was inclined to believe him – but she still wasn't sure if this was something that he wanted. They'd never talked about children because it had never been an issue between them and they were always so _careful_ it was hard to believe.

Pulling her phone out once more she made quick work of dialing and put the phone to her ear. "Nevaeh? I need your help."

* * *

"Jesus Dani!" Nevaeh's surprised exclaim came from across Danielle's kitchen table.

"I know, I know! What am I going to do Nev? This is something I've never dealt with before."

"Well don't look at me!" Danielle's best friend countered. "It's not like I have a whole horde of rugrats at home."

Danielle let her head drop to the tabletop with a resounding thud, "You are the _worst_ best friend ever."

Nevaeh chuckled and took a sip of the coffee she'd bought on the way over, "I take it Myles doesn't know?"

"Not a clue. He's been away on work."

"When did you find out?"

Danielle frowned, "Two days ago?" When Nevaeh glared at her she continued in a hurry. "But I wanted to be sure! I took like four tests!"

"All positive?"

"What do you think?"

Nevaeh held her hands up in surrender, "Okay okay. Maybe – and bear with me – maybe this isn't as bad as it sounds. I mean think about it Danielle, it's not like you would be a bad mom and I'm sure Myles would come around eventually. You _are _going to keep the baby…right?"

Danielle's expression was pained, "I don't…know. I can't imagine getting rid of the baby but I just can't get my head around being a mom. And with the job? I mean come on Nevaeh there's a reason why there aren't many FBI agents with children."

"There are some Dani, it's not like it can't be done. Which reminds me: I guess you have to tell Mark huh?"

"Not until after the doctor's appointment and definitely not until after I tell Myles. Nev you can't tell a soul about this."

"As if. Besides who would I tell? You're going to have enough problems without gossip piling on top of them."

"Gee thanks."

"Could you lighten up? You're going to have a baby! Can you imagine having a little bundle of joy with your G-man's blonde hair and your fabulous cheek bones? C-U-T-E!"

Danielle chuckled, "I hope Myles has the same attitude Nev I really do. But what about work? We both work for the FBI and this is assuming that Myles will want to have anything to do with me when he finds out."

Nevaeh frowned, "You don't think he'd leave do you?"

Danielle shrugged, "I'd like to think not but there's too much unknown. We've been together for a little over a year but this is huge news and our relationship really hasn't been tested like this before. I love him…I _really _love him but I don't know what I'll do if he decides that this is too much for him."

"Well," Nevaeh said on an exhale. "Why don't we stop worrying and let him decide? When does he get back?"

"By the end of the week? You know what it's like, it's hard to estimate. I hope it's soon though because I'm going out of my mind."

"Well let me know what he says after you talk. You know I'm always here to kick his ass right?"

Danielle laughed, "I love you too."

* * *

For the life of him Myles could not figure out what Danielle's cryptic we-need-to-talk text had been about.

"What's wrong mate? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Huh? Oh…nothing."

"Come on Myles," Bobby prodded. "You know you can tell me anything."

Myles rolled his eyes, "I'll keep that in mind _father_ now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to my work."

"Down boys," Lucy's amused drawl came from the opposite end of the room and Myles sighed trying to drown out the rest of the room.

"Yeah Bobby," Jack piled on. "If Myles doesn't want to tell us what's bothering him he doesn't have to."

"At least he's quiet…" Tara added quietly.

"Am I the only one here with work to do?" Myles asked irritably.

Everyone in the room seemed to look at one another before looking back at him with a few murmurs he couldn't make out.

"It's been a busy week, I think everyone just wants to relax," Sue called from her desk.

"Then go home."

Myles smothered a sigh when Bobby came over and sat on the edge of his desk, the Aussie's ever present grin making Myles' feeling of dread worsen.

"You're grumpier than usual. I mean we just get back from a successful mission, you could act a little more excited about it. Weekend off to be with the missus what more could you want? Unless…" Bobby's drop at the end of the sentence made Myles cringe.

"What's wrong Myles trouble in paradise?" Lucy asked.

"That is none of your business." He responded quickly, grabbing his coat of the back of his chair.

"Have a good weekend Myles!" Jack called after him with a laugh as Myles hurried out of the office, he had enough to worry about without having to answer to his friendly bunch of busybodies.

* * *

Danielle gave him enough time to take his jacket off before she all but tackled him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. She could tell from the way he hesitated before hugging her back that he was confused but she ignored it, he was the one person she'd wanted to hold for days and she needed a little courage for what was to come.

Pulling back she laughed lightly, "Sorry, I've just _really _wanted to do that for the past couple of days."

His answering smile didn't touch his eyes, "I, uh, got your text."

She nodded, "Yeah. Why don't you go take a seat? Do you want something to drink?"

"What I want is to know what's going on. I mean if you want to break up fine-"

She spun to face him, "What?"

"-I mean if there's someone else-"

"Myles!"

"What?" He asked.

"That's not it," she insisted. "How could you even…you know that I love you."

He sighed, "I do know that Danielle but it's a little difficult when you send me a mysterious text telling me that we need to talk. I've been going crazy trying to figure out what's going on."

Running a hand through her hair Danielle braced herself against the kitchen table. "In retrospect I think I could have handled the text messaging a little better I'll admit to that."

He smirked, "You think?"

She nodded slowly but said nothing as she tried to push down the anxiety that she was feeling. Part of her wanted to just blurt out her news but the other – more rational – part of her knew that that would not be the best course of action.

She hadn't noticed him moving until he was behind her, his hands messaging the muscles in her shoulder.

"Wow you're really tense," he noted before softening his voice. "What's wrong Danielle?"

Covering her mouth with one hand she shook her head slowly trying to hold onto what little composure she had left. She didn't fight against him when he used gentle hands to turn her around and brush the hair away from her face, cradling her face in between his hands.

The concern in his face was enough to break her composure. "I'm pregnant," she whispered before he could say anything else.

Almost at once his hands fell away from her face and she instinctively reached out only to have him back away. She watched him process the information but she couldn't tell what he was thinking, the man had a knack for hiding his emotions when he wanted to and it was one of the reasons they rarely played poker.

"Myles?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Pregnant?" He asked.

She let out a heavy breath, "Yeah."

"How far along…?"

She shook her head, "I don't know. I can't figure out when it could have happened."

"Are you going to keep it?" His question make her stomach plummet and she put her hand over her abdomen.

"I can't…I just could never…" She let her sentence drop and prayed that he would understand. The more she'd thought about it the less she could envision an abortion, it wasn't a religious thing, she just hadn't expected the overwhelming need to _protect_.

Without warning she found herself engulfed in a hug and when the shock wore off and she realized what had happened she hugged back, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face into his shoulder. Feeling his arms tighten around her waist she cried into his shoulder and then into his chest when he put an arm under her knees and lifted her up.

She wasn't exactly sure when they ended up on the couch, nor how long she cried for when he finally spoke.

"Danielle," he prompted.

"I'm sorry."

"Shhh. Enough of that. Look at me."

Wiping her eyes with the heel of her palm she chanced a look at him. "I'm sorry. I must look so stupid."

He kissed a forehead, "You are stupid."

The look on her face must have been worse than she'd thought because he laughed and shook his head. "Putting yourself through all this stress – and don't try and tell me you didn't because the bags under your eyes are a dead giveaway – when you didn't even know how I felt?"

Resting her head back on his chest she shrugged, "I know that your job is your life. I didn't know how you were going to react, we've never talked about this."

"My job is a part of my life, not the whole – not since I met you. I can't say that I was hoping for this, at least, not right now but I can't say that it's something that I'm unhappy about. I love you Danielle, we can get through this."

Danielle could feel the tears starting again and closed her eyes, finding Myles' hand and entwining his fingers with hers. Breathing with a sense of ease that she hadn't felt in almost a week she relaxed into him further and let herself drift.

She was roused when he stood but when he made no move to put her down she simply stayed quiet and let him carry her to her bedroom. When he deposited her onto the bed she draped her legs over the side of the bed and started to pull her socks off only to be stopped when he pushed her back to lie on the bed.

"I don't want to sleep in jeans," she murmured.

"You won't," he assured pulling her socks off. "Go back to sleep."

"I didn't even ask how your sting had gone."

He chuckled, "I don't want to talk about work."

"Don't go."

"I won't."

When Myles had managed to get Danielle and himself undressed he joined her in the bed and tucked her against his chest. The last thing Danielle remembered before sleep took over was a soft kiss pressed to her temple and a sense of warmth that could only come from the one she loved.

* * *

"Are you going to tell him today?"

"I might wait a couple more weeks."

"Danielle…"

She sighed, "Myles I am ten weeks pregnant. There's a reason why most people don't announce a pregnancy until the second trimester. If we need to go out into the field for anything potentially dangerous I'll tell Mark, but to be honest I kind of like having this little secret."

Myles grinned, pausing from fixing his tie to kiss her. "I'll agree to that. But promise me that you'll tell him if you need to."

"_If _I need to I promise that I will. Happy?"

"Not particularly."

Danielle rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at him, "Lighten up Myles. I'm pregnant not radioactive."

"You could be considered a ticking time bomb."

She arched an eyebrow, "You live dangerously Agent Leland."

He laughed and shrugged on his coat, "I have to go. I love you and I'll talk to you later."

Pressing one hand against her abdomen he kissed hard enough to make her breathless but quick enough to leave her wanting more before slipping out of the bedroom and she heard the door close a moment later. Grinning Danielle finished drying her hair and getting dressed before leaving for work herself.

* * *

"You were late this morning." Nevaeh pointed out from the driver's seat of the black van.

"I was," Danielle acknowledged.

"Get lost between the sheets?"

"Nevaeh!"

Nevaeh laughed, "Oh come on Dani, when did you become such a sissy?"

Danielle rolled her eyes, "I am not and that is not what happened. I got caught in traffic."

"Sure."

"Whatever. Are we there yet?"

Nevaeh shrugged, "Five minutes? Hopefully this won't take too long."

Danielle massaged her right temple, "I don't understand why Mark sent us out for this. I doubt there's anything new this woman can tell us."

"We've not got much else Dani, we're hitting dead ends here."

Danielle sighed, they'd been working on the same case for weeks, trying to dig up new information about a weapons smuggling ring that had been discovered. So far they hadn't been able to get any good information other than what they could ascertain from any informants willing to talk.

"You alright?" Nevaeh asked when they got out of the van. "You look kind of pale."

Danielle waved her hand dismissively, "I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"I bet."

"Worst. Best. Friend. Ever."

"Whatever, you still love me," Nevaeh said as she pulled into a driveway. It took two rounds of knocking before the door was opened to reveal a very irritated looking blonde twenty-something woman.

"What? Do you know what time it is?!"

"Too early for you to be shouting on the street." Nevaeh deadpanned, "Care to let us in?"

Danielle smothered a smirk as the informant reluctantly let them inside. The townhouse was small but for someone living on their own it wasn't a bad size and the modest décor only added to Danielle's approval of the building. Taking a seat on the couch next to her partner she let her partner do the talking, Nevaeh was better at interrogations and questioning anyways.

A twinge of pain made Danielle wince and put her hand to her stomach and she had to wave away Nevaeh's look of concern.

"Hey you don't look so good," the informant noted.

"I'm fine," Danielle insisted, trying to breathe past the growing pain in her abdomen.

"I got tampons if you need 'em."

Danielle smirked as she stood up, "That won't be necessary."

"Danielle!"

Danielle looked sharply at Nevaeh and immediately saw what had caused her friend to be so surprised, a bright red stood in sharp contrast to the pale fabric of the couch and Danielle felt the blood drain from her face as she met the worried expression of her partner.

The informant rolled her eyes, "Sure you don't want that tampon?"

* * *

Myles had just settled into a productive rhythm of filling of his ever growing pile of paper work when he was interrupted by a young man in a suit bursting into the office.

"Can I help you?" Dimitrius asked from where he'd been going over some forms with Jack.

"Uh…yes," the man stuttered. "I'm looking for a Myles Leland the…third?"

That got Myles' attention and he sat up a little straighter, "Yes?"

The man - who Myles could only assume was an agent – seemed to relax slightly before going tense again, "Agent Leland could you come with me please?"

"Why? And who are you?" Myles asked.

The man seemed to puff out his chest a bit with his answer, "Agent Jacob Wallace sir, and I don't know what you're needed for exactly I was just instructed to escort you to the hospital."

"Who sent you?"

"Mark Cahill sir."

"Which hospital?" Myles asked as he simultaneously pulled his coat on, shut his computer down, and closed the files on the desk.

"Myles?" Dimitrius' voice made him pause for a second.

"I need to go," he answered. "Cahill is Danielle's team lead. I have to go."

For the umpteenth time since Myles had started working with Dimitrius he was grateful for the man's unfailing understanding and experience.

"Do you want someone to go with you?" Dimitrius asked.

Myles shook his head, "No. No I'm okay. Thanks."

"Go."

* * *

When he got to the hospital he all but ran into Nevaeh Wilcox, Danielle's best friend. The woman was undoubtedly made for law enforcement but at that moment she looked at scared as Myles felt.

"What happened? Where is she?"

Nevaeh shook her head, "I don't know Myles. I haven't see her since we got here. She was bleeding…"

Myles froze. "Bleeding?"

"I'm sorry Myles I don't know anything else."

He nodded slowly, "The doctor?"

"I think she said her name was Janet Alera."

"Thanks," He said and briefly put his hand on her shoulder before heading over to the nurse's station to see what he could find out.

It took much longer than he expected and by the time the doctor finally came out Myles was at his wit's end.

"Mr. Leland," The doctor greeted politely.

"_Agent _Leland," he corrected impatiently.

Janet Alera said nothing but Myles could see the flash of exasperation that crossed her features and relented.

"I'm sorry. I just want to know what's going on with Danielle."

"Are you family?"

"I'm her boyfriend."

The doctor frowned, "I'm sorry Agent Leland but I can't tell you anything unless you're a relative or unless otherwise stated."

When the doctor turned away Myles caught her elbow "Please," he pleaded. "I'm the father of her child. I _need _to know what's happening."

She considered his revelation for a moment before inclining her head, "She's not awake and I'm going to warn you to let her rest but you can see her."

Knowing it was the best he was going to get Myles nodded, "Thank you."

* * *

Danielle awoke slowly, the fog of the analgesic they'd given her made consciousness a struggle but one worth fighting for. Bringing one hand up she massaged her eyes and pushed her hair back before opening her eyes. Squinting against the harsh light she looked around at the unfamiliar setting, it wasn't her room and it definitely was Myles'.

"Danielle?" A soft voice questioned from the bedside.

Looking over to the source of the sound she was relieved to see Myles. Despite what people said she found his presence to be comforting and his voice to be soothing rather than commanding. However the look of his face made her frown, he didn't look happy, in fact, he looked the opposite of anything that remotely resembled happy. Confused, she reached out a hand to him.

And spotted the hospital band on her wrist.

Lurching forward she pressed a hand against her stomach and gasped for air that sudden seemed so sparse in the room as the events of the morning came back in a rush. She could feel Myles' hand on her shoulders and hear his voice in her ears but nothing got past the numb that had draped over her body. She knew her mouth was moving – trying to form words – but she couldn't tell if she was forming words or just making sounds or nothing at all. Grasping at the hospital gown on her body she pulled at it, trying to remove it, trying to see past it, trying to find the baby.

The baby she'd lost.

God, had she really lost their baby?

All of the fight left her almost as quickly as it had overcome her and for the first time she became aware of the nurses and doctors that had filled the room. All seemed ready to restrain her if the need arose, which seemed strange to her because there was nothing left to fight for.

"Ms. Westlake?" One of the doctors asked. Danielle recognized her, she'd been her doctor upon admission although she couldn't remember her name and the text on the identification tag that hung from her jacket was too small to read.

"I want to go home," she said softly, and the words sounded petulant in her own ears.

She could feel Myles' grip around her tighten and she was glad that he was there, she wasn't sure how she would cope if he hadn't been there.

The doctor's expression softened, "I know you do. We just have to run some small tests and perform and ultrasound and if everything is satisfactory you can go home. I am sorry for your loss."

Danielle watched the doctor leave and let the nurses do what they had to, the entire procedure took a little over an hour before she was allowed to dress in her own clothes – a clean pair that Nevaeh had gotten her – and go home. The drive home had been silent, although Myles had never let go of her hand, something for which she was grateful.

He'd taken them to his place – another thing for which she was grateful - and the silence seemed to linger even as their moving about the house was anything but silence. He'd made her sit down at the table while he'd busied himself in the kitchen making food that neither was going to eat which gave her the chance to look at him for the first time since that morning.

He looked tired, the deep circles and wrinkles around his eyes that had not been there that morning also aged him. He moved slower, as if everything he did was a delicate task that he was afraid of breaking, which could have happened given that his hands were trembling. Everything about him seemed to have deflated, his shoulders were slumped making him seem like half the confident man that had walked out of her apartment that morning. His hair seemed even lacklustre. She could get a good look at his directly because he was facing away from her but she'd see his eyes earlier today, his normally vibrant blue eyes had been clouded and dark, encasing all the emotions that he was trying so hard to cover up.

Gathering up all the strength she could muster she pushed the chair back and walked over to him, she wasn't sure if he'd heard her but if he had he made took no notice. Reaching over, she turned off the oven and moved the pot away, ignoring his protests. Taking his hand she guided him to his room and made him sit with her on the bed. She couldn't blame him when he pulled back as she reached for him but she didn't let it deter her and when she finally got her arms around him she buried her face into his neck and cried.

It hadn't been her plan but once she'd started she couldn't stop. She sobbed into his skin harder than she remembered ever having done so, certainly harder than she had when she'd told him that she was pregnant.

She wasn't surprised when she felt Myles' arms tighten around her body and could hear his sobs ringing in her ears. His grasp on her bordered on painful but she was sure that she was hurting him as well, although neither seemed to care.

She wasn't sure how long they remained as a tangle of limbs on the bed but she knew that by the end she could feel the moisture on her skin from where tears had seeped through her clothing and she was sure Myles could feel the same. She held on to him long after her sobbing had calmed to sniffling which had calmed to deep breathing and she wasn't sure whether the ache in her limbs from squeezing for so long hurt more than the ache in her chest.

Somehow Myles managed to manoeuver them into a lying position on the bed without unnecessary disentanglement and Danielle instinctively curled into him, despite everything his skin still smelled like the unique mixture of soap and the expensive cologne that he wore without fail.

"I love you," he whispered. He was so close she could feel his breath on her skin as he spoke and feel the vibrations in his throat.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to breath past the blockage in her throat. Of course he did, his love seemed to be unfailing.

"I'm sorry. I've been so selfish," the whisper was broken and she wanted to clear her throat but she knew it wouldn't do any good.

"No you haven't Danielle-"

"It was your baby too Myles."

She felt every muscle in his body tense and for a moment she wondered what he was going to do.

"_Our_ baby," he corrected gently. "It was _our _baby and what happened was not your fault."

"But-"

He tilted her chin up so that he could look at her before he spoke, "No. I spoke to the doctor, it could have been caused by a mistake in chromosomes, immunologic disorders, something wrong with the uterus or cervix even. There was nothing you could have done because it wasn't your fault."

"God I am so tired of crying!" she murmured in frustration as the tears began their trek down her cheeks again.

"It's okay to cry, I won't tell anyone." He said as he brushed the tears away from her cheeks with a soft smile.

"Thank you. For everything."

He kissed her forehead, a simple gesture that made some of the ache in her chest fade and some of the warmth return to her body. "There's nothing to thank me for. We are going to get through this you know."

"I do now. I don't know how I would do this without you."

"You're strong Danielle."

"I don't feel strong."

He closed his eyes, "Me neither. Maybe we can share each other's strength for the time being."

"That could work," she agreed and she pressed a kiss to the space in between his eyebrows, a small patch of skin that had become creased with wrinkles from all the stress and worry.

Neither of them said anything for a while and she wasn't sure if he'd fallen asleep. His breathing was deep and even but the man was a trained FBI agent, and she'd seen him in action; he always kept his composure. She wasn't sure when it happened but at some point the sound of his breathing and the steady thumping of his heart under her fingertips lulled her to sleep.

* * *

The office seemed too quiet when Myles walked in a few days later. The silence was eerie and it made him pause to look around at his coworkers.

"Is there something on my face?" He asked.

Jack cleared his throat, "No no. Just haven't seen you in a couple days is all."

Myles inclined his head, "And it'll be a couple more before you see it again. Try to keep the cheering to a minimum until I leave will you? I just came to pick up my wallet."

He tried to ignore the ongoing silence and the looks of confusion as he walked to his desk to grab his wallet from the drawer. When he turned back to leave he found himself face-to-face with Dimitrius.

"Is everything alright?" Dimitrius asked in a voice that was low enough for only Myles to hear.

He sighed, "Not really. I'll be back next week."

"Myles…"

Myles pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He'd just wanted to come in, pick up his wallet, and leave. He hadn't planned for the interrogation.

"Alright fine. Everyone listen up because I am only going to say this once!"

He made sure that he had everyone's attention before he continued speaking, "I'm only telling you all so that you don't guess at it after I'm gone. Earlier this week Danielle had a miscarriage and we lost our baby."

He paused for a moment to let the news sink in and to also give himself a moment to take a breath. Someone had put a hand on his shoulder but he couldn't identify who it was.

"Like I said before," he continued. "I'll be back next week. Hopefully you can manage that long without me."

No one seemed to move for the moments that followed his announcement until he couldn't stand the silence and made his move to leave. He heard someone – Bobby – call his name but the only thing he wanted was to get to his car and home to his girlfriend.

When he got home he found Danielle sitting cross-legged on the floor in the living room. Before he could ask what she was doing he spotted the ultrasound photograph in her hand and he had to rub at his sternum with his palm to supress the ache. The ten week scan had literally been taken days before the miscarriage. It was the first and only picture of their child.

"What are you doing?" His voice was hoarse.

She looked over her shoulder and the smile on her face was sad, "I'm not sure. I was thinking of names."

He cocked an eyebrow, "Names?"

She nodded and invited him to take a seat with her on the floor, "Baby names. I don't like calling our baby "it"…"

Myles took the photo from her hands and stared at it, "We don't even know what the gender was."

"I know but there are gender neutral names we could choose. It's stupid I know but this picture is the only proof we have that the baby ever existed and right now it just feels like the right thing to do."

He nodded slowly, "It's not stupid Danielle. I just wasn't expecting it."

She moved slowly when she grabbed the piece of paper and black pen off the coffee table and he wondered if she was still in any pain. To his best knowledge there hadn't been any more bleeding but from his basic knowledge of miscarriages he was sure that some soreness was to be expected.

"Alright," she said. "Give me a name to start the list off with."

The question took him off guard and it took a few minutes before he could think of a name that fit the criteria and that he was partial to.

"Alex."

He watched as she wrote the name down at the top of the page before writing the name 'Quinn' underneath what he'd suggested.

"Taylor."

The pattern continued until they had a list of ten names – five suggestion from the both of them. The names Myles has suggested were Alex, Taylor, Jordan, Sam, and Ashley. Danielle's had been Quinn, Dylan, Jamie, Jess, and Carson. They both stared at the list of names in silence, ten possibilities that they had to choose from because they would never know for sure.

It took then the better part of an hour to cut the names Sam, Taylor, Carson, Ashley, Jordan, Jamie, Dylan, and Jess.

"Alright," Danielle said. "We have two names left to choose from: Alex or Quinn."

"What do they mean again?" Myles asked.

"Alex means defender of the people and Quinn means wise."

Myles made a face, "That's a tough one."

She nodded, "I agree. I really didn't think it was going to be hard. Then again, I always thought that I would have the chance to meet my baby and then decide."

He kissed the top of her head in silent agreement, "What does your name mean?"

"Danielle? It's Hebrew, it means something like God is my judge."

Myles grinned, "How biblical."

"I grew up in a Catholic household. What about you? What's your name mean?"

He shrugged, "Myles means servant."

She smirked, "How appropriate."

He nodded, "What about Alex then? Defender of the people seems like a good mix between God is my judge and servant."

Danielle smiled softly, "Alex Leland. I think I like it."

"Leland? Not Alex Westlake?"

She inclined her head, "It does sound better," she teased. "But if it had come to it I would have put Leland on the birth certificate. Unless something had come up and you weren't around anymore."

"Never," he said.

She shrugged and turned over the ultrasound photograph, using a black marker she wrote the name Alex Leland in small block letters in the top left hand corner.

"There," she said as she turned it back over.

"There," he echoed softly.

It took them another five minutes to move from their spot on the floor but when they did Myles watched Danielle place the photograph on top of his dresser before taking a seat on his bed.

She shook her head, laughing softly. "It's funny. I've stayed here for longer than this before but somehow it feels like I've been here forever."

"It's been a long couple of days."

"There's an understatement."

"You know…" he began somewhat cautiously. "You could always move in."

"Myles…"

He went over to the bed, "Just listen for a minute. It would make sense – we both work in the same building. We're in love and we're most likely going to get married within the next two or three years-"

"That has got to be _the worst_proposal I have ever heard. You could literally win an award."

Myles laughed, "My _point_ was that it makes sense for you to move in. Especially since I'm the one with the house."

"Alright then."

"Besides I don't really want you to leave," he continued before looking over at her sharply. "Did you just say yes?"

"I think so."

The look on her face was enough to make her laugh as he grabbed her off the bed, his hands on her hips as he kissed her.

"I know a lot has gone wrong recently," he murmured against her lips. "But I have a feeling that things are going to get better from now on."

She smiled, "Keep saying things like that and your optimism really will be infectious."

* * *

The next couple of days had passed by in a blur. Myles and Danielle had tried to keep busy, it made it easier to move forward when they were both distracted. There had been various times that either one had just had to stop and take a break and be alone but it was nowhere near as efficient as when they worked through things together.

The day after Myles' suggestion Danielle had set the wheels in motion for her to move out of her apartment. She'd been more than a little amused when Myles had realized how much rearranging it would take to accommodate her in his house permanently.

"Myles you don't have to have a lot of makeup to need more than one shelf in a medicine cabinet."

"What needs to go in there?"

"Deodorant, body spray, perfume, face cream, makeup remover, body lotion, my toothbrush, floss, my razor, my shaving cream…do you want me to go on?"

"So two shelves?"

She laughed, "Yes. That should be just fine thank you."

"Good, it's only got four shelves."

"You can use drawers for some of this stuff too you know. I certainly plan to use one."

He looked at her exasperatedly, "For what?"

Danielle put a hand on her waist and counted out the objects with her fingers as she talked, "My makeup case, pads, tampons, panty liners-"

"Okay! Okay I get it."

She threaded her fingers through his and squeezed his hand, "Just wait until we get to your dresser. I'm just warning you that we might need another one."

He sighed, "Women…"

She grinned and kissed him quickly, "This was your idea Myles and despite everything you're thinking you still love me."

He nodded, "That I do."

The sound of the doorbell interrupted anything else he was going to say and they shared a confused glance before going to answer the door. The door was barely opened before Danielle took over and threw jumped through it, enveloping her friend in a hug.

"Nevaeh!"

"Danielle!" Her friend replied with just as much enthusiasm and just as big of a hug.

When Danielle finally pulled back she noticed that the members of Myles' team standing outside, their faces a mix of amusement and caution.

She beckoned them, "Come on in. If you would have called first I might have done some cleaning but you didn't so no complaining about the mess."

Tara was the first one to come forward and hug Danielle so tightly her ribs hurt. But she didn't dare complain; Myles had mentioned that he'd told his coworkers what had happened so Danielle understood their wariness.

"I'm so sorry Danielle," Tara said when she pulled back and Danielle could tell she was fighting off tears.

Danielle took a deep breath, "Thank you Tara."

"How are you?"

"Better."

Tara nodded simply and said nothing more while Danielle greeted the rest of the team, each had their own condolences and sympathetic eyes. When they all were finally inside the house the atmosphere seemed to lighten a bit.

"It was nice of them to come," Danielle stated as she leaned into Myles who hadn't said much since everyone had arrived.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah I am. This might have even helped. I'm not going to be off work forever, this will help me get back into the swing of things."

"Hey Myles!" Bobby's voice interrupted them as he walked over. "Stop monopolizing Dani she was about to reveal all your secrets."

Danielle laughed as Bobby took her elbow and pulled her away from Myles.

"Come on Sheila I'll show you a good time."

Bobby's attitude was infectious and Danielle waved once more to Myles before allowing Bobby to lead her back to the others. It took Myles a little longer to warm up to the party but soon enough they were all gathered in the living room and it was the first time since her miscarriage that Danielle felt normal again. She wasn't sure if it was the easy atmosphere or just the familiarity of the people around her but she felt at ease, and she could tell that Myles did as well. Although he was the butt of a lot of the jokes his sarcasm and wit were as present as the day she'd met him and even though she would never admit it she did love that part of him.

The crowd started to dissipate about an hour later. Dimitrius had to get home to his family and Bobby had to pick up Darcy for a date night. Shortly after that Tara and Nevaeh had left together and Danielle couldn't help but wonder if the two were quickly becoming good friends, it wouldn't have surprised her, they were two of the best people that she knew.

Soon Lucy, Sue, and Jack were getting to ready to leave and Danielle has to hide her grin as she watched Jack hang around – no doubt waiting for Sue seeing as Lucy had mentioned that she was going to have dinner with her grandmother.

Danielle took the opportunity to hug Sue once more before the woman left. She'd met the team enough times in the past to be familiar with them and she did consider most of them to be friends.

"Thanks for coming," Danielle said mindful to have pulled back before she spoke. Originally it had been awkward to talk to Sue but time and observation had dissipated any anxiety she'd had.

"Don't mention it," Sue replied easily. "I hope you feel better soon. You have my number if you ever need to talk."

Danielle nodded, "That I do. I'll keep that in mind."

After everyone had left Myles closed the door with a heavy sigh, "Thank the heavens I thought they were never going to leave."

She laughed, "Don't start Myles. You needed that as much as I did."

He pressed a quick kiss against her temple before heading to the kitchen to get started on the dishes and dinner.

"I did," he finally admitted. "But don't tell them that, I'd never live it down."

She smiled and picked up a tea towel to dry as he washed, "I won't tell anyone."

Danielle could tell from the grin on his face that he'd picked up on her rehash of his earlier assurance

"I think," he said quietly after a few moments of silence. "I think we're going to be okay."

She let his words sink in as she rhythmically dried the plates he handed her. She couldn't doubt the fact that his words rung with truth; despite everything she was there standing next to him doing one of the most domestic of tasks. This had been one of the most difficult trials that their relationship had been through and they had come through it – slightly battered and with more experience – but together.


End file.
